Condition: Still Critical – Starmer's First Year NHS Check-Up Shows Mild Signs of Life, Mostly Flatlines

A year after promising to build an NHS “fit for the future,” we’ve gained 9 seconds on ambulances; and discovered that “more appointments” mostly means speed-dating your GP.

Oh, if only I had a pound for every time I heard the words “fix the NHS,” I’d have enough cash to hire my own GP, buy a second-hand MRI machine; and still afford a packet of those NHS-standard pink wafer biscuits they serve at committee meetings.

Let me take you back. A year ago, Sir Keir Starmer stood on a podium flanked by banners, promises and just en…