Dining with a Tyrant in Trousers: When John Ruined Dinner, the Weather and My Will to Live

He came, he whined, he relocated the meal. One man, one dog and one almighty delusion; meet the friend who thinks manners are optional and wind is a personal insult.

There’s always one. You know the type. The kind of person who treats social outings like a personal episode of The Apprentice; minus the charm and with twice the delusion. I’m talking about a ‘friend’, let’s call him John, mainly because that’s his actual name and I’ve reached the point in life where I can no longer be bothered with aliases.

Now John, bl…