From Column to Policy: How I Might’ve Just Saved Your Prostate
You’re Welcome Wes.
Well, well, well… Wes Streeting read my column and promptly decided to overhaul national cancer policy. You’re welcome, Britain!
Imagine my delight… and by delight, I mean uncontainable smugness, when I heard that Health Secretary Wes Streeting has come out backing a national prostate cancer screening programme. Coincidence? Possibly. Or maybe, just maybe, he read my tongue-in-cheek column about prostate exams recently and thought, “Yes, this Geiger chap has a point. Let’s save some prostates.”
Now, I’m not saying Wes has my column laminated and hanging above his desk at the Department of Health, but I’m also not not saying it.
Let’s be honest; my timing is impeccable. I write a slightly irreverent (and totally necessary) piece on the joys of dropping your trousers for a good cause, and suddenly the Health Secretary is banging the drum for national prostate screening. Coincidence? Possibly. Divine intervention via newspaper column? More likely.
Currently PSA testing, the blood test that can help detect prostate cancer, isn’t routinely offered by the NHS. It’s a bit of a “secret handshake” situation! Men over 50 can ask their GP for the test… but only if they know it exists, and have the determination, willpower and stamina for a verbal joust. (If your GP is anything like mine, expect a full-blown debate before they finally raise the white flag and agree!)
Honestly getting access to it feels like trying to join a members-only club where the password is “mildly concerned about my urinary habits.”
But now, thanks to Wes (and let’s face it, probably me), there’s a glimmer of hope. Speaking before the Commons health committee, he said he’d back national screening if the science supports it. Now, I don’t want to suggest the man is hedging his bets like he’s placing a cheeky accumulator at the bookies, or going to act like his boss Mr Starmer, however “if the science supports it” is classic political speak for “don’t hold your breath.”
Still, Wes did say he’s “particularly sympathetic” to high-risk groups, like Black men and those with a family history, which is actually sensible and commendable. Honestly, if we can catch this beast early and stop men going through the hell I endured (albeit for a different type of cancer), it’s not just progress, it’s a flipping miracle!
The National Screening Committee is still reviewing the evidence and is expected to report later this year. Let me translate… somewhere a group of very clever people are looking at spreadsheets, nodding thoughtfully, and probably wondering who this Geiger bloke is that keeps popping up in Wes’s press briefings.
Streeting even penned a piece in the Daily Mail (brave choice mate), expressing his hope that the committee finds a way forward. And then, like a magician revealing his trick, he reminded us that any move must be “evidence-led” and “guided by data.” Because obviously, curing cancer using vibes and optimism alone is frowned upon these days!
But don’t think for a second that Wes is just some bandwagon-jumper. No, no. He warned politicians not to make promises without the data. “I could go on BBC Breakfast and say I’m backing Chris Hoy’s campaign,” he said. Not me, mind you, wrong Chris. But let’s pretend he meant me. It helps with my ego.
All jokes aside, prostate cancer kills. And men being the stubborn creatures we are, often avoid check-ups like housework. There’s a cultural shift that’s desperately needed, and Wes is right, we need to break the taboo. There’s no shame in talking about our bits, especially if talking about them saves our lives.
Prostate Cancer UK rightly points out that a targeted screening programme could save thousands of lives each year. I say, why stop at “thousands”? Let’s aim for all the lives. Every single last prostate deserves a fighting chance.
So bravo Wes, for listening to the science, supporting the cause and possibly (probably) reading my column while sipping a flat white. And to everyone else; go and get checked. It’s quick, it’s easy, and you might just end up in a national health strategy.
You’re welcome, Britain. My work here may or may not be done.
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Chris Geiger, Author of The Cancer Survivors Club.
Daily Dose of Disbelief!
Bsky: @chrisgeiger.com
Bsky: @thecancersurvivorsclub.com
Bsky: @dailydoseofdisbelief.com
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