Inject Me Gently and Tell Me I'm Pretty!
The Science of Jab Moods.
Ah yes, vaccines and good moods; because apparently now even your immune system needs a pep talk before it agrees to do its job. Let me introduce you to the latest scientific gem, courtesy of Cardiff University, which I've lovingly retitled: "How to Trick Your Body Into Coping with Yet Another Jab (without the usual screaming and bribery)."
So here's the scoop: A team of white-coated optimists gathered 184 poor souls and poked them with the Covid-19 mRNA jab. Twice. Not just for the thrill of watching grown adults flinch, but to test if their mood affected their immune response. Because sure, why not? After surviving dose number one, these human pincushions were given a lovely little survey. But not the usual "How are you feeling?" but a deep dive into their psychological states; stress, anxiety, depression and of course, if they were radiating sunshine and rainbows that day.
Then came the bloodletting. Again. Four weeks after jab number two, they were tapped like maple trees in spring, all so the researchers could peer into their antibody levels and try to divine whether happiness equals immunity. Spoiler alert: it kind of does. Those who were basically Mary Poppins with a Spotify playlist of motivational quotes had antibody levels 16% higher than the doom-and-gloom brigade. Meanwhile, if you were moderately depressed? Sorry, your antibodies were 18% lower. Apparently, your immune system also sulks when you're down.
But don't worry if you're stressed or riddled with anxiety... that, surprisingly didn't seem to make much difference. So congratulations, you can panic, hyperventilate and still have a halfway decent shot at fighting the plague.
Enter Professor Kavita Vedhara, waving the academic flag from Cardiff, announcing this study as "some of the best evidence to date" that our brains and immune systems are gossiping behind our backs. Apparently, mRNA vaccines, those high-tech little syringes of wizardry also care deeply about your vibes.
So if you're now thinking, "Wait, didn't we already know moods muck about with vaccines?" You'd be correct. This isn't their first immunity rodeo. Previous studies have linked jabs like the annual flu shot to psychological states, though this time the team was keen to test the oh-so-modern mRNA variety. You know, the one that turns your cells into tiny protein factories. Science, baby.
Now, as someone who's had more needles jabbed into them than a voodoo doll at a revenge convention, thanks to cancer, you might forgive me for not jumping on the "just smile and the jab will hurt less" train. Let's be clear... no amount of positive thinking is going to make that cold metal stick feel like a hug. I've tried it all, grinning, breathing exercises, distracting myself with thoughts of Keira Knightley reading from The Very Hungry Caterpillar, yet somehow the needle still wins.
But sure, if turning up to your vaccine appointment dressed like a Disney character helps your antibody count, I'm all for it. Just don't expect me to do jazz hands while someone comes at me with a harpoon disguised as "just a little prick." (And if one more nurse says that line with a smirk, I might have to test whether sarcasm boosts immune response.)
So there you have it. The new health regime... eat your greens, get eight hours of sleep, and for the love of antibodies, fake a good mood like your life depends on it; because apparently, it kind of does. Welcome to medicine in the age of mental wellness. Bring a smile, leave with immunity… and a tiny bruise you'll pretend not to complain about.
You're welcome!
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Chris Geiger, Author of The Cancer Survivors Club.
Daily Dose of Disbelief!
Bsky: @chrisgeiger.com
Bsky: @thecancersurvivorsclub.com
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