My Cat is Worth £70,000

Except at 4am

Ah the glorious welcome-home ritual… Theo my cat, saunters over with the slow, deliberate grace of a runway model who owns the place (because he does), arches his back like he’s rehearsing for Swan Lake, purrs with the smug satisfaction of someone who’s never paid a bill in his life; and then with great ceremony, presents his bum to me like I’m the unde…