Need a GP? There’s an App for That — Unless You’re Dying, Then Please Hold.

Why speak to a human when you can now describe your chest pain to an app trained on guesswork, outdated protocols, and episodes of Holby City?

There are few phrases in life more unnerving than “try restarting it and see if the rash goes away.” But welcome to the future of British healthcare folks, where your first port of call when you’re coughing up blood isn’t a doctor, but a chatbot that sounds like Siri’s awkward cousin with a medical degree from the University of Pure Guesswork.

Now, I’ve …