Revolutionary Cancer Blood Test Is Here – And For Once, It’s Not All Doom and Gloom!
Finally, a cancer headline that doesn’t ruin your Cornflakes — just a blood test, not a biopsy via Black & Decker.
Every now and again, amidst the usual deluge of misery, despair and stories about Prince Harry doing yoga in a yurt, something truly uplifting crashes through the headlines like a Labrador on laminate flooring.
And this week, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the liquid biopsy.
Yes at last, a headline about cancer that doesn’t make you want to down a bottle of gin and hide under the duvet. Instead, this one might just make you want to hug your oncologist (after checking they’re not on strike).
In a world first, first, mind you, which for the NHS is rarer than finding a Ginsters pasty in a vegan cafe… England is now rolling out a revolutionary blood test for lung and breast cancer patients. Not a colonoscopy. Not a bone marrow needle the size of a tent peg. Just a blood test. That’s it. No drama, no operating theatre, no incisions you could post a letter through. Just a gentle jab and boom… a window into your DNA so advanced, it makes MI6 look like they’re using Etch A Sketch.
The test looks for tiny bits of cancer DNA floating around in your blood like lost socks in a washing machine. Once it finds them, it can tell doctors exactly what sort of genetic lunacy your tumour is up to, so they can hit it with a precisely tailored treatment. Not a “spray and pray” approach. Not the medical equivalent of trying to swat a fly with a frying pan. Targeted therapy. Proper, Bond-villain-style precision medicine.
Now some people could start treatment two weeks earlier. Which, in NHS time, is the equivalent of discovering time travel. Just like the treatment friends in the US get now, I might add!
Now credit where credit is due, I usually reserve my NHS rants for when I’ve spent three hours listening to comma inducing music in a hospital phone queue, only to be told the oncologist has gone on holiday to look at volcanoes. But this? This deserves applause. Actual, enthusiastic, standing-up-from-your-armchair-and-clapping-until-the-cat-gets-worried applause.
Of course, if this had been reported like 99% of cancer news, the headline would have been:
“BLOOD TEST SPOTS DEATH IN BLOODSTREAM – YOU COULD HAVE IT TOO”, followed by a list of side effects so terrifying it reads like the terms and conditions for a Ryanair flight.
Because, let’s face it, newspapers and telly types are notoriously bad at reporting cancer news. Their idea of journalistic balance is printing a giant photo of a celebrity looking pale next to a quote like: “I thought it was just indigestion. Then the doctor told me I had 47 seconds to live.”
What they don’t do is shout about the good stuff. The breakthroughs. The hope. The fact that 15,000 lung cancer patients and 5,000 breast cancer patients a year will now benefit from this test… not in 2050, not in a lab in Zurich, but right here in Blighty, on the NHS.
One patient said the targeted treatment gave her life back. If that doesn’t give you a tingle down your spine, then check your pulse; you might be a cabinet minister.
So now the NHS is planning to expand the test to even more cancers. Which means we’re no longer stuck in a world where you wait eight weeks for a scan, another four for the results, then get sent to the wrong department, before eventually being told you need more scans. No, we’re moving towards a world where you stick your arm out, give a bit of blood, and get answers. Fast. As fast as ordering a McDonald’s via their App.
It’s smart. It’s non-invasive. It’s efficient. And for once, it’s not a story that ends with “service under review due to budget cuts”.
So to anyone sat in a hospital today, doped up on anti-nausea meds and wondering if it’s worth fighting anymore… read this again. A simple test. A better treatment. A future that’s just a bit brighter than yesterday.
Bravo, NHS. Bravo, scientists. And bravo to everyone still in the fight. Keep going; the world is getting better at this. Slowly, yes. But better.
Now, if only we could get the same kind of attention for prostate screening without the word “rectal” being mentioned every five seconds, we’d be golden.
Have a good weekend!
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Chris Geiger, Author of The Cancer Survivors Club.
Daily Dose of Disbelief!
Bsky: @chrisgeiger.com
Bsky: @thecancersurvivorsclub.com
Bsky: @dailydoseofdisbelief.com
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