Smiling on a Spreadsheet: Why Modern Mental Health Support Feels Like a System Update From Hell

From quinoa-wrapped solutions to apps that shout “You’re amazing!” while you sob into cereal, Britain’s approach to depression is as helpful as a Bluetooth toaster in a power cut!

Let me explain something. Depression, that grey, creeping fog that makes you feel like you’ve been wrapped in clingfilm and forgotten at the back of life’s fridge; is bad enough. But what makes it worse, monumentally worse, is trying to navigate your way through modern society’s idea of “support”. It’s like being offered a gluten-free crouton in the mid…