Horse Paste and Hollywood: How Mel Gibson, Snake Oil and a Tube of Apple-Flavoured Madness Hijacked Cancer Care
When Nobel Prize science meets Facebook cowboys and oncologists are forced to battle!
So there I was once again, staring into the abyss of the internet, where logic goes to die and snake oil salespeople breed like rabbits on Red Bull. Only this time, the latest magical elixir to emerge from the loony lagoon wasn’t crushed beetroot or healing crystals; it was ivermectin. Yes the same stuff you give to a sheep when it starts looking peaky and coughing up something unholy.
Apparently, and I can barely say this with a straight face, this farm-grade anti-worm paste is being hailed as the new cure for cancer. Because when I think of complex oncology treatment, my first thought is obviously “what would a horse take?”
And who’s at the forefront of this manure parade? Mel bloody Gibson. That’s right. Mad Max himself has leapt onto the Joe Rogan podcast to declare that a cocktail of ivermectin and who-knows-what cured his mates’ stage four cancer. Which is a bit like saying you fixed your broken leg by rubbing it with WD-40 and playing Coldplay backwards.
But it gets better… or worse, depending on your tolerance for idiocy. Searches for ivermectin have gone through the roof. It’s now being handed out like sweets in Republican-controlled states, where apparently the new medical qualification is “owns a cowboy hat.”
In Idaho, lawmakers have decided that letting people buy horse dewormer over the counter is somehow a step forward. Yes, because what we really need in the cancer world is more access to barnyard pharmaceuticals. Soon oncologists will be forced to add “tractor maintenance” to their CVs.
I spoke to a real doctor, yes one who studied actual medicine, not one with a YouTube channel and a six-pack of Mountain Dew… and he said more than half of his cancer patients now ask about this nonsense. Usually at the end of the appointment, as if saying “should I rub cow paste on my tumour?” is just casual chitchat. His nurse apparently rolls her eyes so hard, she’s in danger of seeing her own spinal cord.
This stuff has all the hallmarks of classic snake oil. A miracle cure. No real evidence. Lots of testimonials from people who look like they just lost an argument with a combine harvester. And worst of all, a cult-like belief system where questioning the logic is treated like heresy. “I do my own research,” they say, as if trawling Reddit at 2am is equivalent to a PhD in molecular biology.
But let’s back up a second. Ivermectin does have legitimate uses, in actual medicine. It treats roundworm in parts of the world where that’s a real problem. Two scientists even won a Nobel Prize for it. But that doesn’t mean it’s a cure-all. Paracetamol can fix a headache. That doesn’t mean you mainline it to cure heartbreak or a broken gearbox.
The problem here is hope. When someone’s dying… or told they’re out of options… they’ll grab anything. Even a £3.99 tube of apple-flavoured worm paste from Walmart with a cartoon horse on the box. That’s not stupidity. That’s desperation. But exploiting that desperation, as influencers and podcast prophets now do, is nothing short of villainous.
And here’s the big problem… people are now smearing it on their tongues. One bloke actually admitted, and I quote, “it tastes like shit.” No surprise there mate. It’s literally designed for animals who lick their own backsides.
So while doctors are trying to save lives with actual treatments… chemotherapy, immunotherapy, targeted drugs… we’ve got farmers-turned-pharmacists on Facebook saying, “Nah, just give ’em the horse goo.”
This isn’t medicine. It’s medieval. It’s Monty Python meets Breaking Bad with a bit of Charlotte’s Web thrown in. And it’s bloody dangerous. People are skipping real treatment. They’re coming back when it’s too late, with cancer in their bones and brains, having spent their final months chasing magic beans.
You are not a horse. You are not a cow. But if you think ivermectin cures cancer, you are absolutely being taken for a ride… on a snake oil-powered tractor straight off the edge of common sense.
Please stop, please seek ‘professional’ advice…
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Chris Geiger, Author of The Cancer Survivors Club.
Daily Dose of Disbelief!
Bsky: @chrisgeiger.com
Bsky: @thecancersurvivorsclub.com
Bsky: @dailydoseofdisbelief.com
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